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Of Interests And Values.

Are relationships and partnerships doomed if we have different interests?

And,

Are relationships and partnerships doomed if we have different core values?

To me, having shared core values is the most important foundation in any relationship or business partnership. Values are what all of us need to live our lives authentically so that we can have a beautiful life – feeling good and happy all the time.

Our core values are those firmly held beliefs about what makes us as a person of value and also what we see as valuable in others. It is based on our experiences in life. It help us identify what is right or wrong, good or bad and the way we feel about everything around us.

For instance, if someone says he or she values love, respect, care and trust, but courting someone for attraction, passion, excitement and chemistry, guess where will they likely to end up one day?

Or, in a business partnership, where one values good practice and service whilst his or her partner is strictly focused on profits, guess where will they most likely end up one day?

If one likes to read whenever she finds time. While her partner choose to go  online whenever he is free. Yet, both acknowledge they value knowledge, then, will reading a book or going online deemed as a  difference in interests?

I can only see the couple constantly enhancing their knowledge through different sources or channels. So is their shared core value likely to cause a dent or help to strengthen their relationship anytime in the future?

“Yee Sang” is a popular dish served during the Lunar New Year in most Chinese restaurants and food outlets. It has been a long tradition to celebrate every Lunar New Year with “Yee Sang.” I stumbled upon this “Yee Sang with Salmon” at Sake Shushi very recently. I see people enjoy tossing and mixing the different ingredients in the dish with their chopsticks while happily wishing one another with good wishes for the entire year. I see people value tradition more than being overly concerned with regards to who or which country introduced the dish first?

“I doubt we can ever successfully impose values or attitudes or values on our children certainly not by threat, guilt or punishment. But I do believe they can be introduced through relationships where parents and children are growing together. Such relationships are, I believe, build on trust, example, talk and caring.”
~
Fred Rogers.

Have a Happy Weekend. !!!

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16 Comments

  1. Excellent post, Michael.

    I however carry a somewhat different opinion on the issue of ” need to have compatible values.” I, for one, believe that our values are intensely personal, forged out of the fire of our own process of socialisation and experiences. They are fairly firm anchors to which we attach our actions and thoughts. If this be so, it is quite probable that our partners, colleaugues etc may carry somewhat different set of core values and the priorities they attach.

    I believe it all boils down to the responsibility we take regarding ownership of our actions, consequences. The obligations we are willing to take forward. Our interactions- with our partner, with our colleagues, flow out of this space. If we have this consciousness, we can successfully avoid the classic blame game trap.

    Cheers

    Shakti

    • Michael says:

      Shakti, It’s is always wonderful to have you sharing your valued insight with us. “Thank You.” I agree with the “consciousness” your have mentioned. It is certainly true. Have a meaningful weekend – doing the things of interests and value to you. Regards. !!!

  2. I am Hungry nowmy friend…… 🙂

    • Michael says:

      The dish is a real appetizer. Yummy good. Tomorrow, the 15th day of the lunar month, will be the last day most restaurants have it available in their menus. BTW, many thanks for the constant support. You are great. !!!

  3. Purely.. Kay says:

    I don’t think relationships are doomed if you don’t have the same values. Respect goes a long way for a relationship. And if you don’t have that, then you will never respect where another is coming from.. whether you agree with their values or not. In life, we don’t agree with everyone.. but we can come to a middle ground. Having values are what makes us who we are, but respecting one another, whether we agree or not, helps you grow as a person. This was such a great article

    • Michael says:

      Hi Kay, Welcome and Thank You for sharing your thought with us. I agree. Meanwhile, I am looking forward to welcoming you back in the not too distant future. Warmest Wishes. !!!

  4. I think the most important relationships are those built between people who have differing core values.

  5. bibuji says:

    Happy Lunar New Year! Japan has many traditions which was learned from China. Unfortunately many of them are now forgotten in this busy modern society, but there are still some left and I like them.

  6. Michael says:

    “Konnichiwa” Thanks for sharing more information with us on this subject. Have a great weekend Bibuji.

  7. I think it’s mutual respect and honesty that allows for differences in every relationship. Most of the time people represent themselves as wanting or being something they are not. That makes it impossible for the other person to find common ground.

  8. Love it Michael. I love the way you wrote your stuffs. Hats off man!Keep writing! 🙂

  9. My husband and I share core values. And we have different interests, though some naturally converge. My feeling is, and this after 20 years of what I deem a good marriage, it’s nice to have a partner bring their own uniqueness into the relationship. Keeps things interesting.

  10. Michael says:

    Very well said. Thanks for sharing that tip with us. You see, we have so much to learn from your goodself. Keep posting – so that we can learn more and see more. Thank You for visiting and commenting once again. !!!

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