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What That Really Matters ……
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” – Henri Nouwen.
It is easy for any of us to forget our life’s aims in the coming months of 2013. Say; “What are the most important things in life?” “Who are the most important people in our lives?” Or “What are the most important tasks in our lives?”
To serve from our hearts is to give ourselves to life – not our words, time or business, but ourselves. We do not need any resources to serve from our hearts – all we need is to be rich inside.
Having a good heart is one thing but to give it, to create something, is even a more powerful donation. When the heart is used, there is a radiation outwards which touches others’ hearts. And when we let something go, we are making space in our lives for new ideas and experiences.
Thus, meeting someone else’s need even in a small way, is an incredibly gratifying experience and a major key to true happiness.
You see, the measure of life is not its duration but its donation. Those who give to others set into motion a cycle of blessings that often includes the feelings of joy, happiness, satisfaction, fulfillment and a deep, abiding sense of purpose. It is a genuine expression of love and love’s finest hour.
Perhaps, the present speed of life, the many distractions along our way and the fragmented nature of modern life, has both directly and indirectly contributed to the dissolution of noble aims and life’s most important aspects. Thus, we have to be mindful the point and goal of the race. And keep the focus on that which really matters.
My parting thought; “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.” – Charles Dickens.
There are so many things we can offer to all those around us this New Year. And many of these things are free. Say some of our time, some of our knowledge, some of our support or love – they cost us nothing but something others value a lot. The fact is, if we limit the love we give to just one or two, it will eventually halt. But, if we learn to create love inside our hearts and silently give it to everyone we meet, believe me, love will grace every corner of our lives.
Have a beautiful weekend !!!
Revisiting: My Take – Can Money Buy Love?
First and foremost, I believe there is no simple answer to this tricky question …… So as to which side is right, that depends on what kind of love one is looking for. Say if you are looking for love from a soul mate, then it is highly unlikely that it can be bought with money.
On the other hand, money does increase one’s chance of love. Money can help generate love. I mean generating the circumstances that are favorable for love as well as inducing the loving feeling in us. Money can improve our bargaining position and our attraction factor – the pull factor.
While love decreases the need for money is especially true when one is so deeply in love initially. At that moment, money can be of less significance. However, one will get to realize with the lack of money for his or her basic needs, their love could also be at risk. Thus, a lot more have to be addressed, put in place and properly synchronized before love can be considered as meaningful.
I believe money can lead us to love because love is something that is hardly disconnected from reality. In this day and age, money can help us find love. But, be mindful what we can expect and cannot expect from it. More money can probably lead to more stress and is less effective in bringing us the kind of love we want.
Love without money is difficult – I dread to think about it. It could be equally stressful as well. Consider the following frequently expressed statements; “Oh, it’s so difficult to love you when you’re earning so much less than me.” Or, “So much less than my good friend’s husband” and so forth.
As I conclude this posting, I wish to quote “Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.” – Richard Friedman. Can money buy love? At least not the kind of love I cherish …… That kind of love is priceless. I believe we should give from our heart and not our pocket. We should give love to the people around us as it is in giving we receive. Yes even in this day and age, where we can mail order a wife or a husband, pick up our phone and rent-a-date …… and so the list of options goes.
Happy loving and happy living …… Have a fabulous weekend everyone !!!
Revisiting: Can Money Buy Love?
“Love without money is difficult” or “Money without love is useless?”
The past weekend was simply wonderful. Met up with some old friends at Starbucks and after a brief exchange of greetings, our get-together began to liven-up when Fred (who looked a little upset that afternoon) asked; “Hey, what do you fellows think, can money buy me love?”
You see, Fred is in his early 40s and is a civil engineer by training. Fred is a refined bachelor and have been going steady with a young lady for some time. However, in the recent months, we heard the fire of love in them has been less intense and cold. So when Fred raised that question, all of us were taken aback and dumbfounded.
Like me, all those present must have been thinking on their feet the same question. “How could I tactfully handle his question – without having to rub salt to his wound?” There was a long silence, then, Julie, a teacher, looked at us before turning towards Fred’s direction and confidently responded with a loud “Yes.”
She then paused before proceeding to say, “Money can buy love.” Now, all of us were stunned by her response. Our eyes were focused at her and our ears were waiting for more …… “Look, some businesses have proven that …… Their sales are always at the peak during Valentine’s Day” she continued.
“Oh …… what a brilliant and tactful answer to Fred’s tricky question,” I told myself. And from Fred’s body language, I could read he was happy with what Julie had said and those words may have warmed his aching heart a little. Then, there was a grin of sadness from Fred’s macho-looking face. I sensed he could have some regret for not taken the initiative to rekindle his fire of love on Valentine’s Day.
By then, Nicholas, who have a chain of fine dining restaurants in town chipped in; “I agree. I agree with Julie. I had a big jump in reservations on Valentine’s Day.” Immediately his remark opened the floodgates. Mary smilingly told us her chocolates and gifts were completely sold-off on that afternoon. And Alan’s wife, Jessica, who owns a florist shop next door confirmed she too enjoyed brisk business on Valentine’s Day too.
Then, Frank threw in some jokes, got up and did his Beatles act; “I’ll buy you a diamond ring if it makes you feel alright. I’ll get you anything my friend it it makes you feels alright. Cause I don’t care to how much a money” and stopped right there. Fred and the rest of us were already smiling and having cheered-up our good friend, it was an opportune time for us to move into another topic.
Can money buy love?
That was the question I kept asking myself as I drove home after the get-together.
Possible or simply not possible?
And is there any connection between money and love?
What is your take on this?
Warmest wishes and blessings to all of you.
Happy Living (2) ……
Tip of the day.
Everyone can be happy …… As a matter of fact, all of us are born with the ability to be happy. So however happy or unhappy you are, you can be happier.
However, each of us may have a slightly different path to happiness.
You see, as we go through the path of life, we could have picked up some unhelpful ways of thinking and acting that make us feel bad along the way. Over time, these unhelpful thinking and acting have reinforced and affect our brain chemistry which in turn continues the pattern of our thought.
Don’t you think there’s a lot more than to just feeling good?
“Don’t make assumptions, ask questions instead.”
From Me To You.
Revisiting: Your Truth, My Truth, The Truth.
Nobody ever sees truth except in fragments.
~ Henry Ward Beecher.
In a very real sense, deception is rampant these days. It is no longer surprising to find people telling the biggest lies to those they are close with …… All of us want to know the truth. But, truth is merely a product of perception. And perceptions could be colored by experience. Consequently, there aren’t really lies if we believe them to be true. Definite and subjective meanings will continue to exist for the purpose and meaning of what is deemed to be the truth.
Truth telling is the avoidance of lying, deception, misrepresentation or non-disclosure in interactions. The problem with telling the truth is, it can be just as painful or destructive as a lie. Sometimes more so. But, don’t you think it is only when we speak the truth, say what is true and not say what is not true, we are worthy of trust and hopefully the people around us can understand, feel cared for and safe?
Indeed, this is not easy to do. However, a lot of unnecessary ugliness could be avoided if people choose to be upright by speaking truthfully. Be mindful, nothing ever good comes from lying or dishonesty. Lying is impractical. Words when uttered are like feathers being blown all over and, it is impossible for us to pick up every single feather that is blown. One lie will naturally lead to another and consequently a web of deceit is created. Tell it like it is. No posturing. No pretense. No spin doctoring. No emotional attack. No assumption. No fear based language and do not harm – as words can either cause tremendous harm or have a healing effect.
We often hear truth will set us free. Truth will prevail. Sadly, truth is but what we believe to be truth. At one point, I wasn’t sure what trust could mean to me because some of the people close to me weren’t trustworthy. And because of these few bad apples, I developed a distorted view that I can’t trust anybody. There is rarely a single truth – truth is relative to one’s life experience. And, truth will remain as individual as our version of reality. Truth will have a variety of meanings and absolute right and wrong could probably become doubtful and obscure.
Nobody ever sees truth except in fragments. Whether it is going to be your truth, my truth or the truth, it will be a disaster when only one kind of truth prevails at the expense of another. There aren’t any absolute or real truth for the truth seeker. There are so many different people living around us these days – it is normal or bound to have many different ways others could possibly look at things. Lastly, with hindsight and a little bit wiser, I can’t say I trust everybody because many people truly aren’t trustworthy …… And in a world where people are so engaged in reacting to events, I choose to place my trust first in God as He is the one who will faithfully be all that He promises to be.
Warmest Wishes and Blessings to all of you !!!
Mistakes Are Teachers.
We cannot learn without discovering what it is we need to know …… As a matter of fact, the older we get, the more difficult it is to find out what more there is out there for us to learn because we think we are supposed to know everything by a certain age. And that explains why taking leaps is so important.
If our greatest gift is the ability to choose and to create our own destiny, why accept limitations then?
Do you think it is better to go through life frustrated, angry and bitter because we never took the leap? Or, better to keep on blaming others or circumstances for that? If we fail, so what? I mean, we can either risk failure or we can risk wasting our potential, talent or watch our dreams slip away.
Don’t look, make your leap. Those who achieve greatness act as though there are no boundaries to what they can achieve. Few are willing to go for it if they can’t look what lies ahead or below them. Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions.
Have a dream. Have the passion to live your dreams and keep experimenting your dreams. What we can do today can improve all our tomorrow. Mistakes are teachers. I believe we can go beyond the limits of our vision. Would you end life sliding down an old mountain or climbing a new one?
Be mentally tough and keep excelling !!!